Remember, when you first met and fell in love, you could not stop talking. Time passes, and more and more you communicate only on everyday topics, gradually noticing how the joy of spontaneous conversations and interest in your partner disappear from the relationship.
Dinners know how important it is to talk to a woman at the beginning of a relationship. But when they understand that they have conquered it, they begin to behave as they are accustomed to. For most men this means using conversations only to achieve a specific goal. For the overwhelming majority of women and a small number of men, conversation is primarily a pleasure. Communication allows them to feel a connection with a loved one, to recharge their energy.
How to start talking heart to heart as deeply and interestedly as it was at the beginning of the relationship? Set aside time. Schedule the conversation ahead of time. If the first thing you do when you get home is to turn on your computer or dive into your smartphone, the chances of you switching to a partner are low. Give each other 20 minutes, which is not invaded by the television or virtual world.
Instead of discussing the issue at a household level, try to talk about how your partner feels.
Get your partner interested. Start a conversation with what interests him. For example, if you ask, "Who do you think will make it to the semifinals of this game?", You will most likely immediately grab his attention. But the question: "Does this skirt suit me?" is likely to leave him indifferent, even if he politely answers you. A topic that captivates the other side can be the key to ensuring that a person is disposed to confidential communication.
Many men tend to endure the discomfort in silence and then disappear. Women are naturally better at communicating. It is important to use this distinction not for the struggle for power, but for the development of mutual understanding.
When in a couple a woman can help a man talk about feelings, in return he helps her not to "drown" in them, but to move on to the right actions. These simple rules will help you build a dialogue, convey your thoughts to a loved one and better understand him.
Talk about your condition, not about your partner: "I am angry" instead of "You make me angry." Don't attack. Ask more. Check your fantasies: "What are you feeling now?" instead of "You hate me." Be careful with judgment and criticism. Do not try to talk against the wishes of both yours and your partner. Know how to say "stop" if you are uncomfortable. It is important to let it be spoken out, sometimes just saying it out loud allows you to overestimate your own thoughts.